Toys That Urinate

Young children, toy collectors and freaks can rejoice: there is a newcomer to the Toys That Urinate marketplace. I first saw the Kelly Tinkle Time television commercial this evening and was glad that there were other people in the room to reassure me of what I’d seen. This hilarious commercial shows a toy toilet and a doll. Then hands whip down the dolls shorts, holds the doll above the seat and it lets a stream go. Only in America (I hope). Having seen an older Puppy toy that pees while I was perusing eBay in December I had to dig around to get an idea how big the Toys That Urinate marketplace really is.
I found more than I wanted to. The You & Me Baby is an electronic drink & wet baby utters the phrase: “momma, pee pee, pee pee”. Get out the lighter fluid. Looking around more I learned some of these leaky faucets actually have a purpose in helping as a potty training aid for little ones. Like the Little Mommy Potty Training Baby by Fisher-Price which will only pee in her potty (no mess!) - plus - joy!, she makes “real tinkle sounds”. Gotta’ have it.
There is even a Potty Elmo. And TV’s favorite quack, Dr. Phil, supposedly recommends the Aquini Drink & Wet Doll by Goetz which, as boy or girl, is anatomically correct. Just the facts, m’am. Hmmm. We also have Baby Drink N Wet. Go ahead, try and guess what it does. Baby Born is another moist toy on your local shelves. Ooh! Here’s a new Peeing Pup called Pipi Max. Pipi Max drinks water, walks, barks… and pees.
So with all these peeing toys coming and going on the shelves years after year (heh heh heh) that means that somewhere there are people who collect Toys That Urinate. And when there are Collectors there is a Club and Conventions and all the trappings that go with everything in America. And of these very special ‘collectors’ is one person who has the undisputed largest collection of Toys That Urinate. And that person is probably writing a book. Oh, the humanity.
What gems would one find in a well-rounded Toys That Urinate collection? Let’s see. No self-respecting Toys That Urinate collector could be without the 1966 Uneeda Doll baby, a basic drink and wet treasure trove of fun. Maybe a 1965 Alexander drinks and wets doll would be next on the shelf. There is the must-have 27” Horsman doll from 1964 that wets AND moves it’s eyes. Damn! The 1960’s were turbulent times, what with student demonstrations, the war, free love and rampant drug use, there was a plethora of pissing plastic to pick from. I wonder if the 60’s were the glory days for Toys That Urinate?
It looks like a wide variety of toy manufacturers were in on the wet bottom babies. Kenner, Mattel, Horsman, Irwin and others produced boy and girl Toys That Urinate. One can only wonder how well the domestic firms fared against their imported competition. Just how cut-throat was the toys That Urinate marketplace?
We may never know.